It is never easy to go through a divorce, especially if you are a devoted father who must now abide by a custody agreement that you may feel is unfair. Not seeing your kids every day could be devastating to your mental and emotional health. You may be feeling betrayed, blindsided, confused, and angry. It is vital to your continued relationship with your kids that you do what you can to cope with your divorce. An Iowa fathers’ rights lawyer may be able to help you.
Dealing With Divorce Can Be Painful
No two divorces are ever going to truly be the same. Everybody gets divorced for their own reasons. Some marriages won’t survive infidelity. Others fall apart because of abuse or neglect. Sometimes, a disagreement about managing money grows out of control. Everyone’s source of marital trouble is different. Some people may get over their divorce in a matter of weeks, while others may carry that emotional trauma for the rest of their lives. Everyone’s healing journey is different.
When you have kids to consider, you may be extra motivated to work hard to overcome your personal trauma. If you are still reeling from a contested divorce, you may be trying to come to terms with a settlement you may not agree with, particularly when it comes to custody. Many family courts may automatically side with the mother in matters of child custody, with fathers often seen as a parental accessory that can’t handle child-rearing alone. This is not often the case.
Developing Healthy Coping Solutions
Often, the emotional devastation of a divorce is present regardless of whether or not the divorce is contested or uncontested. In the end, the result is the same. You are divorced and are now going to have to adjust to a new normal while still trying your hardest to prioritize your relationship with your kids. It’s easier said than done to be present for your kids while also trying to move forward with your own life. You may have to face some unpleasant truths first.
While struggling with being there for your kids and moving on from your own emotional pain, you may want to try and consider a few important facts that could help you adjust and start to develop healthy coping solutions for your divorce. Here are some important things for you to consider every day as you navigate this new adjustment period:
- This isn’t failure. When your marriage ends, you may feel a profound sense of loss, but it is important that you don’t equate loss with failure. Some marriages end. It doesn’t mean you have failed your kids or failed yourself. It means you chose a path towards your own happiness since your current path wasn’t the right one for you. By refusing to accept a divorce as a failure, you are strengthening your resolve.
- Embrace loving support. Surround yourself with friends and family who support you. You can never have too much loving support during a time so emotionally jarring. Take comfort in your kids and spend as much time with them as you can. Be there for them, too, as this will be a tough time for them as much as it is for you. You may want to consider giving therapy a try. It might feel good to have someone to talk to.
FAQs
Q: What Grounds Are Considered for Divorce in Iowa?
A: Since Iowa is a no-fault divorce state, you don’t need grounds for divorce. It doesn’t matter what caused the breakdown of your marriage or why one spouse wants to end it. In Iowa, it all adds up to a “breakdown of the marriage relationship,” which essentially means that the marriage has crumbled for reasons known to you and your spouse, and there is no way forward. If you feel divorce is the only option, pursue it.
Q: Do I Need My Spouse’s Permission to Divorce?
A: No, you do not need to get your spouse’s permission to move forward with a divorce. You can still get a divorce if your spouse refuses to sign the papers or refuses to cooperate in any way with the process. In a contested divorce, this is not uncommon behavior. If your spouse does not respond to your divorce petition, the court may simply continue the process without their involvement.
Q: Should I Get a Lawyer for My Divorce?
A: While it is entirely up to you to decide if you want experienced legal help with your divorce, it is generally recommended that you hire a lawyer to represent you in your divorce. If your divorce is uncontested, you may not need a lawyer’s help. In a contested divorce, a lawyer can help you make sure you aren’t taken advantage of during the negotiation process.
Q: How Long Will My Divorce Take?
A: There is no way to tell how long your divorce might take to finalize. Everybody’s situation is going to be different, and the timeline of your divorce will be dependent on a number of important factors that can’t be ignored. These factors will include substantial assets that must be divided, child custody agreements, and the willingness of either party to reach a compromise. Ultimately, your divorce will take as long as it needs to take.
Contact a Good Divorce Lawyer for Help
Coping with your divorce can be a difficult feat to accomplish. It can be even harder when you are trying to remain strong and present for your kids. Having to hide your emotions away to prioritize your children’s welfare is not easy. If you are having difficulty dealing with the emotional turmoil of your divorce, you may want to reach out to an experienced divorce lawyer for help. They can show you ways to take better care of yourself and protect your interests.
At Stange Law Firm, our team can help you find peace of mind during this trying time by helping you develop a parenting plan and giving you solid coping strategies for your divorce. Contact us to speak to someone about your situation.
