There are many reasons that couples get divorced later in life, including the changing roles and expectations in marriages and longer life expectancies. Some parents may decide to put off getting a divorce because they want to provide stability for their children. When spouses get a divorce later in life and closer to retirement age, it is considered a gray divorce. These divorces have unique needs and can use the support of a divorce attorney.
These divorces also have unique consequences. They can bring positives, especially for spouses who can pursue their lives the way they would like to. They also can negatively affect spouses and their families.
As a father, you likely are worried about the consequences that your divorce will have on your children, even though they are grown up and may have families of their own. This is an important thing to consider because gray divorces do significantly impact adult children.
Even when the decision to get a divorce is the right choice for your family, it can be helpful to understand the emotional and financial effects on them.
How Does Gray Divorce Affect Adult Children?
There are numerous ways that gray divorces can impact adult children, and these are not always things that parents can change. You may instead want to address these potential concerns with your children and ensure they know the divorce isn’t their fault. It is important to be aware of the many significant ways that a divorce can change the lives of your children, despite the misconception that adult children should not have as much emotional concern over the situation.
- Loss of Routine and Stability
Divorce between couples can result in the loss of family traditions, family homes, family heirlooms, and other things that adult children may have taken for granted would stay the same. Parental homes may be a gathering place for holidays, and divorce may throw into question if the home is going to stay in the family. Assets can be split, and most crucial, parents are living in different locations and may begin their own new relationships.
Adult children may have assumed certain things about their parent’s future, even unconsciously. These aspects changing so significantly can be jarring and destabilizing, and alter their family history and their plans for their own family.
This is especially true when adult children have children of their own and anticipate their children being able to spend time with both of their grandparents. Adult children may have to shift many of their expectations following their parents’ divorce.
Adult children are also not included in the decisions spouses are making as they negotiate property division and other divorce decisions, which can make the changes feel completely uncontrollable.
- Worries About Relationships
The divorce of their parents can sometimes result in adult children being concerned about their own ability to maintain relationships, especially if they are blindsided by their parents getting divorced. Adult children may reassess their own relationships and what they think about marriage.
Adult children may also find themselves trying to care for their parents, sometimes to the detriment of their well-being and their own families. This can also destabilize the lives of adult children as their parents go through this process.
- Financial Concerns
Adult children also often have financial concerns, which younger children are less likely to have. Some adult children have their own income and families to support, while other adult children are still partially financially dependent on their parents, particularly those still in college or entering the workforce.
Divorce is an expensive process that can alter the finances of both spouses significantly. Some children may provide financial support. All these factors can result in adult children being worried about their own financial support and stability, the financial stability of their parents, and the future inheritance of themselves or their children.
FAQs
Q: Is Divorce Bad for Adult Children?
A: Divorce is going to have an effect on children even if they are adults. This effect varies, though, and adult children can have just as varied responses as younger kids. Many adults are aware that their parents getting a divorce is healthier for their parents, but this awareness doesn’t prevent them from being upset or stressed about the process.
Adult children also have unique stressors that kids don’t have, such as concern about the financial effect of the divorce on their lives.
Q: What Age Is Most Affected By a Parent’s Divorce?
A: Parents’ divorce can affect children of any age, and there is no ideal or worst time to get a divorce based on a child’s age. Younger children may not be equipped to deal with their feelings of grief, while adult children can face significant emotional and financial concerns. How parents handle the news and process of a divorce can help ensure their children have a support network.
Q: How Do You Handle Your Parents’ Divorce as an Adult?
A: Handling your parents’ divorce as an adult is much easier when you maintain communication with both your parents and with a support system around you. It is often confusing, upsetting, and worrying, and hopefully, you will be able to express these concerns with your friends and family members.
While communication is important with your parents, it’s also crucial to determine what your boundaries are and make those clear. Becoming the sole confidant of one or both of your parents during the divorce can be emotionally draining and make the process much harder on you.
Q: How Does Gray Divorce Affect Adult Children?
A: Gray divorce affects adult children in numerous mental, emotional, and psychological ways. Parental divorce when they are adults can still cause a lot of upheaval in their lives and routines, particularly when they have children of their own and are expecting certain family traditions and events to remain the same.
Gray divorce also introduces financial concerns for adult children, especially those who rely on support from their parents for school, housing, or other costs when they are not fully financially independent.
Find Experienced Legal Support as a Father
If you are facing a divorce as a father, whether your children are adults or not, you can benefit significantly from a skilled and exceptional divorce attorney. At Stange Law Firm, we have years of experience in supporting families in divorce cases and working to find the ideal solution. We understand how to protect father’s rights in divorces, including in gray divorces. Contact our team today.
