Dealing with a divorce can be an overwhelming situation that redefines your future and impacts every aspect of your life, particularly your relationship with your children. For newly single fathers, reconnecting with their children can be difficult, especially if you are not a custodial parent. While paying child support can be beneficial and appreciated, being a consistent presence in their lives can be better. An Illinois father’s rights lawyer can help you.
Co-Parenting May Not Be Easy
Children may have trouble adjusting to a new normal after a divorce, especially if the divorce is contentious and the children are picking up on that. After a divorce, some parents may feel like they’ve already started failing their kids, and that may not be the case. It is up to you to do what you can to be present for your kids at a time when they may need you the most.
Establishing a solid parenting plan with your ex and sticking to it can really make all the difference for your kids.
It is important not to fall into the so-called “Disney Dad” phenomenon and try to be your kids’ favorite parent. Ignoring all of your spouse’s rules and doing whatever you can to win over your kids’ affection may only hurt things in the long run. It could also violate that parenting plan, which could hurt your custody arrangement in the eyes of a judge. It is important to remain a strong, unshakable parent in order to maintain stability for your children.
How to Reconnect With Your Kids After a Divorce
Above all, it is vital that you and your former spouse are able to co-parent effectively. Never forget that your primary focus in the aftermath of a divorce should be your children’s welfare. Remember that not all co-parenting models are the same, and you have just as much a right to be your kids’ parent as their mother does. Here are some tips to help you reconnect with your kids after a divorce:
- Talk to your kids. Your kids may be more perceptive than you give them credit for. If you and your spouse were going through issues prior to getting divorced, they may be more aware of that than you know. It is important to sit your kids down and let them talk to you honestly. Listen to them and establish routines together. Check in with your kids when you can and let them know that you are there for them.
- Manage your expectations. In the aftermath of a divorce, everyone is going to be stressed, confused, and unsure of what to do next, including your children. It is important that you manage your expectations and let things play out without much interference. Maintaining a routine with your kids can make it easier for them to adjust to a new normal and rely on you for certain things.
- Be communicative. Co-parenting isn’t easy, especially if you have a great deal of resentment and even hatred for your ex. It is important to compartmentalize your feelings when it comes to your ex. They are still a parent to your children, and you are going to have to communicate with them to make things good for your kids. If their parenting style is conflicting with yours, that’s a civil discussion you should have with them.
FAQs
Q: Is Communication Important in Maintaining a Relationship With Your Kids?
A: Yes, communication is a vital part of maintaining a relationship with your kids. After a divorce, your kids may act out, talk back, or try to get your attention in ways they haven’t before. It is important to speak honestly with your kids and let them know that they can be honest with you as well. Be mindful of their feelings and respectful of their boundaries, and be sure to loop your former spouse in on any significant discussions or milestones.
Q: Can Infidelity Affect the Aftermath of a Divorce?
A: Yes, infidelity can affect the aftermath of a divorce. Infidelity is one of the most common and painful causes of divorce in the United States. If there are children involved, it can make the whole situation much harder. If your spouse is unfaithful, you may never want to see them again, but that may be wholly impossible if they are the parent to your children. Despite how much they may have hurt you, you should consider being civil with them for the sake of your kids.
Q: What Is Parental Alienation?
A: Parental alienation occurs when one parent tries to manipulate their children into disliking or even hating the other parent. This is often a gross violation of the parenting plan and could result in significant legal consequences for the alienating parent if you are able to prove that they are intentionally trying to turn your child against you. Parental alienation can be devastating not just to you but to your child’s psyche.
Q: Can a Father Get Sole Custody in Illinois?
A: Yes, it is possible for a father to get sole custody of their children in Illinois. In Illinois, mothers and fathers are afforded equal parental rights under the law, which means that they both are granted the same ability to parent their children as they see fit. In a custody battle, the court has to consider the welfare of the children above all else, and gender will not factor into the court’s decision over who gets primary custody.
If You Need Legal Help, Reach Out Today
It can be difficult to reconnect with your kids after going through a divorce. Above all, you want to consider what’s right for your children, and you want to be as present as you can be. This could be easier said than done, but if your former spouse tries to alienate your kids or change the narrative, a good family lawyer can help you work things out and build a plan.
The legal team at Stange Law Firm understands how difficult it can be to adjust to a new normal after a divorce, but a good lawyer can help you put the pieces back together. Contact us to speak with a member of our team about a consultation.
