On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Divorce on Thursday, October 29, 2015.

If you and your spouse have opted to divorce, you are likely anything but indifferent towards the divorce process itself and you are likely anything but indifferent towards your spouse. The very thought of your spouse likely inspires intense emotions that may include sadness, anger, frustration, guilt and/or longing. The idea that your spouse inspires strong emotions within you is completely understandable. However, it may benefit you to opt for indifference towards your spouse in a specific way during the divorce process.

When you and your attorney are working to secure a fair divorce settlement for you and possibly working to secure a fair custody arrangement for your child, you cannot afford to allow your emotions to drive your approach to this process. For example, if you are feeling guilty about some event or behavior that contributed to the dissolution of your marriage, you may be inclined to give your spouse more money and property than he or she is entitled to. This is problematic, as you almost certainly need to secure your fair share of marital assets in order to build a healthy future for yourself and for any children you may have.

It is important to understand that indifference means a lack of interest or concern. Being “indifferent” towards your spouse during the divorce process is beneficial if it is channeled into a specific focus. You need not be cruel, unfair or even uncaring towards your spouse. However, you do need to focus on your own needs and your personal future as you and your attorney work to obtain your settlement. You may love or hate your spouse, but these feelings should take a backseat to indifference as you move through your divorce negotiations.

In this specific and focused context, indifference may aid you in securing the divorce settlement you deserve. Instead of allowing any intense emotions related to your spouse to drive your divorce process, you can allow indifference to focus your energies on securing a healthy and grounded future for yourself and your child or children.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Why You Need to Strive for Indifference Toward Your Ex,” Shari Lifland, Sep. 22, 2015