It is quite common to focus on the negatives of divorce. The loneliness, the resentments and the thoughts of what could have been can all seem to be the focus. However, while these are thoughts many men in Missouri have had during and after a divorce, know that there is another way of looking at things and that divorce can actually be viewed at from a positive light.
Dr. Lisa Kaplin, a psychologist and life coach, said the first thing is to look at the divorce as a step in the right direction. Regardless of who left who, each person is no longer in a relationship that was not fulfilling. For example, if it was the husband who left, he clearly had a reason why. Or, if it was the wife that left, the husband no longer needs to be in a relationship with a woman that did not want to be with him.
After realizing this, move on to continue looking for the positives in divorce. This means planning things to look forward to, while also enjoying the present moment. Kaplin advises that this is a time to really learn what makes a person happy and do more of those things.
A lot of moving on also has to do with reprogramming. This means getting old negative stories out of one’s head and creating new positive thoughts.
Lastly, for those divorced dads, know this is not the end of parenting. Rather, divorced moms and dads should continue to take an active and important role in their children’s lives. If for some reason an ex-spouse is trying to prevent this, now is the time to talk with an attorney who has experience handling fathers’ rights cases to make sure those rights are protected.
Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce Advice: How To Have A Happy Divorce,” Lisa Kaplin, July 22, 2013
